We are so fat. We're so fat to the point that our entire country is known as fat. It's so bad that we see a chubster, and call them skinny. But don't worry; they are fat. Because we're all fat.
It isn't our fault, though. It isn't our fault at all that we don't ever have time to exercise. We live our entire lives without time.
Our routines are to wake up, shower, get dressed, go to work/school, and afterword, we get back, then have to watch our brainwashing reality TV shows. Not to mention all the work we have assigned to us after we're out of our hours. Friends need visiting and babies need to be babysat. We have to eat. We have to blink. We have to breathe. We have to sleep. This is a very full schedule in which a 10 minute walk will not fit.
Maybe you're right. Considering the rest of the world is looking at our country and calling us fat (which we are... All of us), I will be that one individual who stands out. Though I am morbidly obese, I will reduce my size to half, and make a story no one will forget. So, I start at the gym, right? I'll buy the membership along with dark gym clothes. A good tip is to get the darker clothes, because the darker it is, the more heat it absorbs. So it'll melt my fat away like no tomorrow. Since the clothes are making my fat burn, I don't actually have to sweat when I'm walking on the treadmill. That would be like losing too much weight way too fast. And that's unhealthy.
Since I'm going to lose so much weight so quickly, I assume smaller clothes should be of order. I'll start shopping for all of that now, just to get it out of the way. Even though my stretch mark - covered love handles fall out of my pants, it will be all right. They'll go away in due time, because I know that buying tighter clothes will make me feel slimmer.
Now as for my diet, I am told that I need all colors in my meal, along with lots of vegetables. So if I put a piece of lettuce on my burger along with a tomato and mustard, that's considered a good diet. And to save money on groceries, I'll just have the McDonald's burger every day. Since I'll be on a strict diet, maybe every once in a while, I can treat myself to a healthy veggie dessert. Carrot cake.
Following these few tips and steps should get me into a banging body in, give or take, a month; however, the gym lied to me and it's actually impossible to become skinny if you're obese. The commercials lied to me, and all these ads are a waste of money. It's already been a solid two months, but half of my body has yet to disappear. There is no hope for me and I'll always remain a disturbance to society, living in this country of only fat people.